This why I disappear

I am sorry readers for my prolonged absence... I haven't been in the best of shapes mentally recently. My life has always been easy enough, I get on well with people, I don't have a life changing illness and I have a family who care for me. I've always been told that I'm smart, I have a high IQ and I attended CTYI. So simply life has been good enough. I had a experience a few years ago while riding a bike. If I hadn't been wearing a helmet I would have died or been severly brain damaged. All I have to show for this accident is the scars that cover my waist and the one on my nose. These days I find myself thinking about that accident alot... I've been wishing that I had died then before any of this could have happened. Before Paul or senior school, before Padraig, before who I am now... I'm falling again and I don't want to stop. For now this is going to be my last post. I need to sort myself out before continuing doing this. Sorry if I'm letting you down but I can't keep this up for much longer. I'm not as strong or as happy as I look. Someday I will be but today I need to get away from everything. I'll continue adding money to the pot during this next absence. I'll be back soon, hopefully.
So goodbye for now
The Straight Talker

Hair related-ish ramble

I'm starting to care less...which is, to say the least, a little bit worrying. My assembly on the whole raising money thing is on Monday and I've only just started the presentation, I have no clue what I'm going to say or do, I haven't sorted out the music situation and I'm starting to care less about it all. Not good... So yes I'm worrying a little and I'm stressed more than I should be over something I'm caring less about. I've been planning this for almost 2 years... This has been a major part of my life and motivator for a while. People, however, are just bringing me down. It's not fun to feel like what I'm doing makes no difference, which is basically what they're saying. They always try to prove me wrong and tell me why it won't work. It's great to see how much confidence they have in me. I don't think they understand what they're doing. There are a few people who are keeping me going through with this but I still just don't seem to care, it's driving me crazy. Right now I should be super excited and finishing off my power point and fill in these posters I have and some forms for something or other that were supposed to be in yesterday. To be honest I just don't care and I just don't know how to tell anyone that... So here I am telling you because you don't judge me or lecture me or call me insane, it's nice to be able to escape this feeling. I will get back to work when I'm done this and soon it'll all be over and we'll be able to see who was right. I just really hope it wasn't me...

Sorry, just needed to get it off my chest. I'll update later with actual information on the whole hair thing. Anyways I owe €24 to charity from the pot.

Not sure what else to say so I'll stop here.
The Straight Talker